The world through my eyes

Thoughts while people watching…

2010-09-16T00:48:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in the food court of the Northridge mall today, people watching as I sipped my favorite soda Barg’s Root Beer and it dawned on me how much time I spend being busy and not taking time to just sit. But today I stopped just to sit and watch others, being busy. It’s amazing what you see. First there were two young women sitting, eating, talking and on their blackberry phones. There wasn’t any eye contact, a lot of lips moving but I wondered if they were paying attention to what the other was saying. Then there was the man sitting by himself, drinking a soda head down all the time, not looking up, he seemed sad.

There were tons of teens, mothers with their kids. I even ran into a few family members from my church. Then there was a couple next to me. At first the man sat down started to enjoy his meal, or so it would seem due to the smile on his face and silence from the table. A few minutes later a woman appeared, sneaking up on him from behind. She was thinking it would be funny, he almost choked but a few minutes later they laughed together and then carried on with a conversation.

There were two other women nearby who seemed to be friends heading towards the elevator, as they passed the food vendors I couldn’t help but to notice how they smiled enjoying each other’s company but not much conversation. I especially noticed one of the ladies as she smiled at everyone that walked past her, she looked at them in the face but they looked past her. It seemed as if they hurried on when she approached not disturbed by the smile that she gave but more uncomfortable because of the wheelchair that was her transportation. The woman didn’t seem unnerved she continued on with her friend, into the elevator and down to the next floor then went. This undoubtedly squashed any myth that those who are titled handicapped because of their visible differences don’t have as much fun as those who seem normal. If normal in this case can only be defined as our handicap is internal and not as noticeable as theirs.

The most touching was a father, with his wife and daughter. They seemed happy, the daughter, a teenager, reminded me of myself at that age. She was tall, probably taller than others in her class. She walked behind the parents, smiling every now and then. Was she really happy or did she just know when to smile and play along.

Later, I met up with a friend, we walked along the mall, laughed at the silliest things and I couldn’t help but to start thinking of my life when I was a teenager. Sheltered is too light of a word to use to describe my teenage years, my parents put the shell in sheltered. To go with friends and hang out at the mall was nonexistent. As I’m enjoying this time with my friend I started to ask the Lord what is this about? Why do I have these thoughts and memories now and in the mall of all places? What’s up with this Lord?

Then I heard the word….Forgiveness

There are some things that I just thought I had moved past, the key word was “thought”. Which is why the Lord had to stop me in my tracks and change the plans I had set for myself –focus on others for the afternoon- and turn the attention to some of my inner most thoughts? All the people that I say today reminded me of certain seasons in my life and are a reminder of God’s grace and mercy in my life.

Forgiveness…...one small word that invokes many emotions but best of all not just thinking I have freedom in Christ Jesus but knowing the freedom that I have in salvation also covers a multitude of sins of our own and those that sin against us.

Ephesians 5:1-2
1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Decidida a Stand

2009-08-17T20:53:00.000-07:00

I stand determined to not waiver
No matter how tempting this world may be
A short skirt would not give me the recognition that I seek
As I only want to hear my Lord speak
To tell me one day “Well done good and faithful servant”
I’ll wait

I have no desire to be a part of the dark
For when the light exposes what is there the familiar feeling of shame will remain
What is it that now defines a woman?
To be modest is wrong; to be selfless and serve Christ is unheard of
What is supposed to define me?

Should I count the dates I’ve had or number of men I’ve met
When did being a women of virtue equal how many guys you talk to
Pray, study, serve wait on the one
God give us strength to let you write the love story of our lives
Let our minds not become blurry with the expectations of another
The other that we haven’t even met
This could lead to disappointment because you can’t see the forest from the trees
Don’t be in such a hurry
Don’t turn back to what you knew
Lean on what is unseen

I don’t know how it is for my brothers
But for a sister I can confess being single now can be conflicted and lead to distress
So I ask what is it that now defines a woman
Is it the car I drive, the maker of my purse?
Do I have to swivel when I walk and still recite a Bible verse
Should I be concerned with spreading the Gospel and looking cute at the same time?
What defines a woman?
There are so many books, self-help guides and movies to show us the way
I’ll rely on a bundle of 66 books that my Father made for me
What defines a woman?
It is knowing the thing that is above all things, even when some things seem right
It is living out 2 Peter 2:9, while singing Deborah’s’ Judges 5,
upholding 1 Thessalonians 4:4-6
What defines a woman are all things through Christ

Boaz Found

2009-08-05T21:35:00.000-07:00

What should I call these never ceasing thoughts- after their gone a smile is left with me
The desire I have to live life fresh and anew is becoming a dream realized
The adventures I had in my sleep were full of life but daylight brought the sting of reality
This was the cycle of my life until you came along, it was He & I and now we are three
Not walking or jogging but running in my journey of faith is what I was accustomed to
Things are now moving fast, quickly proceeding to new heights & I want to flee
Now stopping, thinking and wondering is what I seem to do – is this wrong?
You are Job 29 how can this be, the feeling of fleeing is gone. I want to run
This is no song of love and how it fits into Christianity- the Father shows me the truth
Slowing down long enough to hear the words you are saying would be a welcome change
But, what if things go back to just being two (persons) one day
How I wish there were 67 books, one dedicated in plain language to answer this
He knows my heart-the complexity it contains- above all things I know He reigns
I’m thankful for unanswered prayers and random thoughts that bring a smile

Who Knows

2009-08-04T20:53:00.000-07:00

Who knows what the future holds
My Father does
Oh how he know me...knows what to reveal at the right times
What to keep hidden from me

Who knows what the future holds
I am thankful that my Father does
that He is in control of my life and not me

Family day @ the beach

2009-07-26T21:45:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed a wonderful day yesterday with family and friends as we celebrated my nephews 14th birthday. Yikes! It seems like only yesterday I was buying diapers and showing him how say Auntie Dawn. Now, he is a young man about the face the world on his own in a few years.

We spent the day at Bolsa Chica State Beach and it was amazing. The waves were big, the sea was blue ( as blue as you can get in Los Angeles) but I felt so small and realized how BIG GOD is. There are very few places that I can go to where the million and 1/2 thoughts in my mind are not consuming my every thought. But at the beach I don't have any concerns, no fears, no doubts or worries. I can't help but to think about the early Church in the book of Acts and how they endured the outdoors far more than I do. Here we were trying to escape the heat but the discples traveled in the Middle East which is hot year round.

Again, how small are my thoughts and concerns of just me and not of how I can be serving God. I am so thankful for the lessons that I learn about loving Christ with my entire being. About, forgetting about myself and remembering the sacrifice that he made for me. Loving God completely, in the heat and at the beach.

Counsel

2009-06-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

I hear the forth coming whispers of an old friend
fast approaching ready to share His ancient wisdom
this conversation, I know, will resonate with my mind and will talk to my heart
these words that once I never wanted to know
now I long to hear sitting attentively to listen to the lovely words of truth
never demoralizing but standing firm in love
knowing exactly what I need to hear
oh how this is needed
now of all times darkness tries to prevail but the light of Thee is shining brightly on the world
I see now what I did not understand before
a tree, alone, in the forest falls we don't know but He hears the sound
unlike that cedar who doesn't get picked up
I have been lifted from the ground, dusted off and turned around
back on the path He has set for me
a daughter feeling the loving embrace of her Father
wanting to fulfill my destiny
not for self but for His glory
longing to see the outcome of my life's story
-LT

In Awe

2009-03-02T20:24:00.000-08:00

I am so in awe at the gloriest work of the Lord, his love for me never seems to end and I am thankful for that. There is so much I want to share from how I view things, thus the birth of my blog spot..Yeah! Finally!